Pick of the week

Nose pickers – essentially there are two types: the self-conscious and the unselfconscious. I’m one of the former – just a crafty poke about now and then when I think no one’s looking. But this morning I encountered one of the unselfconscious types, and, boy, was he ever brazen about it, apparently totally uncaring about the eyes of his fellow commuters..

It was on the Hammersmith and City line tube. Ginger, 20-something, jeans and an odd checked jacket. He was standing just inside the doorway leaning against the partition – prime spot, that – and was reading Metro while burying his finger in his nostril up to his second knuckle. The woman opposite could barely believe what she was seeing. So distracted was she by this no holds barred performance of bogey ferreting that she was unable to read her hardback novel. Instead, she stared, horrified, at the picker and then looked around the carriage, trying to spot if anyone else was as awe-struck as she was by the blatant display of social ineptitude.

But then things got worse. Having pursued some ripe booger with the tip of his index finger for a while, he hooked it and withdrew it in order to examine it, holding it up proudly for the commuters to see. Then, without a moment’s hesitation, he slipped his finger between his lips and begun to chomp on this delightful piece of low hanging nasal fruit.

The woman opposite him almost gagged and had to turn away. He munched on, oblivious to all and sundry…and then went looking for dessert.